Why do we do rope in community? How many churches, temples, holy — and alleged holy places — have I visited? Surely, thousands. My life has involved many rituals, some deliberate and learned and others inherited. The religious historian Mircea Eliade posited that rituals were the vehicle for humanity to…

On finding kinkiness everywhere This statue got my attention. Called ‘creepy’ by others who saw it too, my first reaction was to take a picture. This is my kinda art! Sometimes I think that having discovered kink means I’ll never look at the world the same way again. Everything seems…

It’s possible to grieve for someone before they have died. Waves of anger, sadness, and disbelief washed over me out of the blue on a regular winter day while running errands in the city. I have stopped by the drug store for some rice crackers and shampoo, and as I…

Contemplating discovering my kinky side I should have studied sociology as I am so interested in humans and their cultures. Instead, I started with the classics, philosophy, languages, and politics. I ended up working in government service for several years. This was a very formative experience and highlighted for me…

Why are there so many stories of abuse? Is BDSM abuse? You might be forgiven for thinking so given how it is treated in the media these days. …

The draw of having rope across your skin When I first discovered rope, I was euphoric. …

Since refreshing my familiarity with Non-Violent Communication (NVC), I’ve identified what seems like a paradox in being dominant and playing D/s games involving punishments and demands including giving commands, and the NVC approach to interpersonal relations, in which requests are based upon needs, and do not involve any bossy demands. …

Why do we practice Shibari — even in a pandemic? — The last time I was tied up with rope was in Texas at a rope class and jam in a private home before the pandemic turned such homes into fortresses. My rigger was a young man who had learned rope through a local rope group, and via online videos. We…

Imperfect bodies needed: for kink and for life During my freshman year of college, our biology class went on a trip to a medical school to examine dissected cadavers after the medical students had finished with them. This was a unique privilege, as our professor knew someone at the school…